Thursday, 13 December 2012

I bring these gift for you (a-ru-pa-pum-pum)

So this is Christmas, I hope you have fun, another year over, a new one just begun.
I fucking love Christmas, I'm not ashamed to say I am literally like a little child, the decorations, the chocolates, the actual food and of course the presents!!!!
Now I ve never been someone that is very good at receiving presents, I think its because I never really got anything that anyone has put any actual thought into.  In my family its ask for something or get nothing, and, Ive always felt so guilty about asking for what I actually want, I always just end up saying 'oh i dont need anything,' and thus i end up with M and S boxers and Lynx gift sets.  Bad times.
But, even if I do say so myself I am a good gift giver, its not difficult, even people who are the most difficult to buy for can be made easy if you just listen to them for ten minutes something will give away something good to get them.  My ability to buy gifts has led to me becoming a font of knowledge for friends and family alike in terms of me being a walking suggestion box for gift ideas.  With this in mind I thought Id bring to you a little guide to whats available out there, for boys for girls for parents, partners and siblings here a few select items that will hit the Christmas magic strings on the morning of December 25th for your loved ones.


Now, boys are very different to girls, obviously.  Our expectations for gifts are very low, we've grown into men believing that a pair of novelty socks a packet of sweets and an Andy Mcnab book are the best we can hope for, they are not, ladies pay heed to the following.

1: Smelly Stuff
Us metro sexuals really do like smellies, we do not like 3.99 sales shower gel and deodorant sets.
Prada Infusion d homme, is the best.  Its a manly blend of sandlewood and citrus. If its for your fella then you too will enjoy sniffing his manly gubbins for the cold months to come
(Infusion d homme £35 per 50ml, Boots)
2: Entertainment
Not just for your significant other, for your dad, your brother or uncle knobhead, a DVD boxset is a great gift and is worth hundreds of hours and entertainment (and peace and quiet for you)
Choose a manly one though, no Sex and the City.

(Sopranos boxset, £40 Tesco)

3: Ethically Correct
You might want to tread with care with this type of present, for myself I would love something like this, but there are certain type of people who wouldn't appreciate the gift of something for someone or something else, theyd be an arse to have a grump over the turkey about it though so go ahead, my recommendation:

(Adopt a penguin, £19.99,
4; Gadgets
Having testosterone in our bodies automatically means two things, firstly we enjoy cooking food over fire, secondly we loves a gadget.  From the earliest man carving tools from limestone to the swiss army who specialise in being very neutral while making exception quality knives with attached bottle openers boys love stuff.  Here's some stuff;

(Wireless Charge Station, £42 Currys)
This little beaut is a wireless charge station.  Iphones, blackberrys, generic mp3 players, games controllers it does them all.  Just plug this little plate in and op it on your bedside table, you then just place your gadget on top and it charges.  BOOM MAN MAGIC!

5; Funstuff
Musical Socks, novelty drinking games, handkercheifs with saucy captions on them, these all have something in common, they are anti-LOL.  Men are just boys boys on the inside we like getting muddy, jumping in puddles and teasing girls.  Check these adult size bounce suits, a bit expensive but if another couple comes over for dinner itl keep the fellas busy!!

(BumpSuits £69
6;  Uber-nerd?
For the man in your life that is a secret 4 year old on the inside this amazing gadget is a magic wand, that you can program, to be a remote, for anything!!!!! £44.99 from firebox!!


Alright gents, I know your pain.  Need to buy a present for girl right?  Guess what... they dont like screwdriver sets and any sexy undies you buy for her is going to be an absolute minefield of size and sexyness issues (on the plus side the girls that work in la Senza are always FAF).  But follow these simple rules and you shall not disappoint the lady you love this festive period.

1: Smelly Stuff 
Just like the first heading for the boys right...wrong.  Although fragrance is a good gift it is again a minefield, she might appreciate you going off piste from whats normally on the dressing table, but, she is unlikely to appreciate your choice of Channelle Houghtons misty scent or Jordans latest stench.  If you insist on odors  buy designer.  Whats much safer and simpler?  Try something a bit different to scent, Chanel nail varnish available from Boots and it comes in a pack of three so you are three times more likely to get a color she likes!  You might resent paying £15 for a tiny pot of what is essentially paint, but she'll love them.

(Chanel nail varnish £45, 3 pack, Boots)

2;  Entertainment
Just like the boys again right??  Nearly right, stick to the more effeminent side of the entertainment, Id stay away from Sex and the City again though, not because she doesnt like it, but, she already has it. 

(Pride and Predjudice, £4.99,

3;  All that glitters IS gold
This maybe a massive generalisation, chicks love sparkles.  In particular diamonds.  It doesnt have to be big and bolshy, but if it twinkles itl be well received.  HSamuel have some excellent options at prices that wont put you in the poor house.

Diamond and silver, 'the kiss', HSamuel £49.99

4; Outright soppyness
Sometimes outright soppyness is just the ticket... For the hopeless romantic there are two different varients of soppyness.  There is romance that is affordable and there is the other type, the type that you are going to need to plan in advance and save up for...

(Name a star deluxe, £29.99,
Prezzybox deluxe name a star kit comes with all the gear to name a star something unbelivably cute/romantic and it comes with a nice ebony frame so its not just a box of papers.

(weekend break in Paris, around £299+)
When it comes to downright going for it you have two options, a break in Paris, the romance capital of Europe.  Or a break in New York, the romance capital of the World.  Since the both of these require some prior planning (at least they do if your budget doesnt stretch to private jets) Id say Paris is the better option.  Of course if your settled, married and fairly secure in the knowledge that you will be together when the time for hollybobs comes along then by all means plump for NYC, I recommend NYE.

5;  Secretly beneficial to you
Here are two facts for you to keep in mind;
A- One 50g portion of chocolate is enough to raise a persons mood by 100%
B- A woman is 60% more likely to be 'in the mood' if she has an above average body temperature.

(Hotel Chocolat, £4.99)

(John Lewis £8.99)

There you go world, that's all I can be bothered to write...  The rules are clear people, put a little thought into your gifts and make this Christmas that little bit more special for someone you love this year.
I go now to figure out to color in my Christmas jumper with glitter for my Christmas party on saturday... all ideas welcome.

Heres some treats for eyes.

And here is some festive treats for your ears.

Il rock you all in the new year.  
So from me TO YOU i really do hope youve had a magical year and Christmas brings you everything you could possibly want and more. 

Lots of Love and Festive frolics from the land of Taff


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