Ive made no qualms about the fact that I someday want children, I cant think of anything better than running around on a Sunday playing with the kids on the beach or in the park, riding bikes and imparting knowledge. Of course as I edge ever closer to 30 it seems to be getting further and further away from reality.
My childhood wasn't filled with moments like the one above. My father wasn't a natural dad per say. He often worked away from home so us kids would generally learn our own lessons on life through trial and error. None of us had a natural bond with our dad and this carried through into our teenage lives and into adulthood.
So my knowledge will passed with a simple mantra that is as follows...
101 Rules for my unborn son;
1. You never miss a practise, and I’ll never miss a game.
2. quitting is the hardest habit to break
3. You can’t be friends with everyone.
4. its better to be the 2nd drunkest person at the party
5. Expect no sympathy for a hangover. And give none.
6. The least interesting view is the pavement in front of you.
7. Don’t miss the team photo.
8. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.
9. never arrive empty handed or empty hearted
10. if i cant see your cuffs your jacket don't fit
11. don't show your ace, if you can win with a king
12. keep secrets
13. hand in lost wallets and phones
14. every now and then, judge a book by its cover
15. guitars belong in bands, not on the beach or in the park
16. never settle for the cheapest, it wont do
17. be friends with the new boy in school
18. don't pose for photos with booze
19. she walks on the inside of the pavement
20. if you cant play with a smile on your face, it isn't worth playing at all
21. respect other peoples faiths, they don't need to hear about yours
22. its never too cold for shorts
23. keep your guard up, the people that work you hard enough are worth lowering it for
24. be best friends with an animal
25. if the button wasn't meant to be done up, it wouldn't be there
26. open the door for her, whoever she is
27. whatever I'm doing is not as important as you
28. make your own costume
29. stand up to bullies, even if its not you that's being bullied
30. if you see a teacher outside your school, shout their surname and runaway!!
31. look people in the eye when you say thank you
32. in a fight, there are no rules
33. never turn down her invitation to dance
34. the key to a good party is the guests.... and ice
35. have a favourite book...and read it
36. if you re the best passer its okay to be the worst shooter
37. don't be afraid to nominate yourself
38. the only reason to honk your horn is to alert friends to your presence, or at pretty girls
39. girls go for guys who shower
40. don't be an arse about money, if they don't buy you one back don't buy them one again, and the ones that do, it all levels out over time anyway
41.try making your own, if you fail you can still buy it
42. effort is more important than results
43. she gets your seat if there are no others, no matter who she is
44. if you wear a suit all the time no one will realise how good you look in one
45. if you don't know...ask
46. never give someone food or drink you wouldn't consume yourself
47. you're always welcome to stay here
48. if you don't go after what you want, then you'll never have it
49. its just stuff, it doesn't matter
50. be punctual, there is no such thing as fashionably late, just late
51. its a fine line between confidence and arrogance
52. the line between courage and stupidity is even finer
53. be patriotic
54. come to me with a problem only if you want help solving it
55. always carry a lighter, they re not heavy and interesting people sometimes need one
56. always carry a little cash
57. if someone doesn't like you it doesn't matter, its one less person to have to worry about
58. phones aren't just for texting
59. the approval of others is nice not essential
60. don't have heroes, when you idolise people you diminish yourself
61. crocs may be comfy, but you shall never ever wear them
62. haircuts don't last long, don't stress the bad ones
63. suntans cant be bought, but you can earn them
64. at least once in your life, buy a round for the entire bar
65. The man who wears a bunny suit is a greater man than the one who wears a business suit
66. a bum bag is never a good accessory
67. good socks aren't cheap, cheap socks aren't good
68. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella
69. she wants dessert, so just order it, don't ask her if she wants dessert, she does
70. its is acceptable to not remember other mens birthdays, the same cannot be said for women
71.don't hesitate to take the last beer or pizza slice, but never both
72. recognise the accomplishments of others as you want them to recognise yours
73. if you don't need it,sell it
74. have two white shirts that fit
75. the heart is a muscle, like all the others after its torn up into pieces it grows back bigger and stronger
76. Let someone else take all the credit
77. good health insurance is as important as good health
78. good neighbours are more important than a good neighbourhood
79. you only get one chance to make a first impression
80. police officers, army officers and firemen should be referred to as sir or ma'am no matter how old you are.
81. tip
82. there is not a pair of sunglasses in the world dark enough to disguise the fact you just looked at her boobs
83. Try the sport that you ridicule most. Golfers and skateboarders wouldn't be so friggin' smug if they knew how difficult the other guy's favourite really is.
84. Pursue a woman not because she's so hot but because she's so cool
85. don't take laxatives and sleeping pills at the same time
86. people who are nice to you but not nice to the waiter are not nice people
87. there is no substitute for experience
88. if you have to choose between two things, pick the one you never tried before
89. Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now?
90. Don’t show off. Impress
91. listen to other peoples music, especially your parents, odds are they were cool once
92. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
93. you can always ask the score, but you cant ever ask who's playing
94. If you miss the high five on the first attempt, no re-attempt can be made in a manly way. Accept defeat and move on
95. don't make excuses for your friends, if their your real friends they wont put you in a situation where you have to
96. don't keep score
97. greeting cars are nice, but greetings in person are better
98. your mistakes are your own, embrace them and move on
99. broken bones heal
100. broken promises don't
101. no body has provided any evidence so far that life is serious, nobody gets out alive, live your way.
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