Time for resolutions, a week of salads and yet more impending realization that we're all getting older and accomplishing nothing with our lives...
But hey ho, no need to be glum freddos are still affordable, pizza has never been more accessible and forty year old virgins have made easier than ever before to download music, movies and television for zero pounds, every cloud and that.
How was your Christmas Mine was good. My parents, bless them bought me a 3d tv, I didn't have the heart to tell them I have no use for such a device as I cant afford the subscription or the dongle or the external hard drive to make it work. its currently on ebay. I did get some well comfortable pjs and a bottle of hot sauce, spectacular return to form from my family in the shit gifts stake.
Anyways... onto this months blogroastingblogposting,
as I was casually returning to my television today, after my usual early viewing of this morning, I happened across something that caught my attention. Im not a regular viewer of this program but the topic of discussion made my ears prick up with attention...
'its embarrassing, he just an ageing hipster' and 'hes not cool, he's just dining out on past glory.' what on earth could ITVs Loose Women be chirping about??? Oh David Bowie?? I reeled in disbelief. As a Bowie fan, Im obviously going to disagree with such moronic liable, but it got me to thinking. With Bowie currently at number 1 and set to headline Glastonbury this year, what possible reason could this excuse for television have for Bowie bashing??? Perhaps the world as I know is upside down, everything I hold as cool is actually uncool, perhaps I've hit that age where all the stuff I like has turned into all the stuff I used to snort a hearty derision at.
No!! I refuse with all the stubbornness that I have come to be known for!!!
These people are NOT cool!!
A panel consisting of failed actresses, singers, presenters and slaggy media whores spouting daily mail politics with all the wit and charm of a pencil sharpener that is past its prime. A viewership consisting of menopausal heaps and students eating soup doesn't make your opinions worth listening too. Also being famous for marrying Chris Evans makes less than less than a celebrity.
Media Celebs; Sorry Alex Reid but you personify my annoyance with this genre of person. Anyone famous for marrying someone else is not cool
Kate Moss; 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels', way to be a role model dick. Not eating and wearing stuff does not make you cool.
Anyone in Towie; Why are you on my television ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!! Spend ten minutes less a week preening your fucking eyebrows and read a fucking book. This goes ten times for Joey Essex.
RiRi and Chris Brown; It goes without saying, she is hotter than the actual sun. But what better way to highlight the frailty of the female as a gender than to be one of the most in demand female music acts in the world than to fall back into the arms of man convicted of beating the shit out of you. A million times no.
These people however ARE cool:
David Bowie: Ziggy Stardust, The pale White Duke, Jareth the Goblin King. Currently top of the UK singles chart, released a song just to celebrate his 66th birthday, without any hype or party time, doesn't parade about with supermodels 40 years his junior. The star man has been cool since the 60s and no amount of middle ages attention whores can convince me otherwise.
Professor Brian Cox OBE; 44 years old, currently Professor of Physical Sciences at Manchester University. Co presenter of stargazing live, on every night this week on BBC2. Obtained all his qualifications aged 31, after spending 17 years touring the world playing keyboards for former chart worriers D-ream. He may not dress too hot but the man oozes cool, his enthusiasm and joy for his work makes him cool, and, you cant go wrong with a black t shirt right?
Noel Fielding; The Mighty Boosh, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Luxury Comedy. Widely described as a cross between a male Joan Jett drag act and a futuristic prostitute Fielding has always said of his fashion 'i dont care what other people like, if i think its funky i'll put it on and wear it as a jumper' when his most recent serie sLuxury Comedy was panned by critics he retorted ' couldn't give a fuck mate, i laughed, and at the end of the day im the one getting paid'
Jameela Jamil; Jam-Jam,not just T4 hangover fodder. You wont see her pissed up falling out of Mahiki. A TV presenter with brains as well as a bookish clumsiness that only years of practice can perfect. This week she becomes the first ever female solo host the radio one chart show, and while some may describe what she wears as eclectic she has her very own line for very.co.uk along with messors Cotton and Willobooby.
David Beckham; he's won every cup you can think of, represented and captained his country with the kind of quiet calm that modern footballers hold little value for. Championed his country at all times, model father, style icon and general all around lovely lump... so much so we've all but forgotten that Rebecca Loos thing. I heart you Becks.
Anyone that care to disagree?
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