I been trying to do it right, i been living a lonely life

Alright,
No apologies again for the time between posts.
Update on me;
all relatively fine, being self employed is getting me down a bit, it seems like i never have the funds to do stuff I really want to like seeing friends and attending shindigs.
Hurt my back in a big way playing football, got another four weeks worth of steroid injections right into the hurt until i see the specialist again, serious mood deflation  desperate to get back in the gym and to hit the tarmac again, winter is the best time for road running if you ask me and im missing some lovely drizzly nights.
Christmas is coming... I fucking love christmas!!!! Bad news for my waistline if im still on hiatus from the gym as I do enjoy a chocolate/cheese/booze binge at this time of year.

Im tying today post in with an occurrence that has reached most of us recently.  Skyfall has landed.  As I have previously stated on twitter, no bond movie will ever be as good as Goldeneye, but Skyfall lands a close second in my opinion, but, you do have to be a Bond fan to see why.  Anyways I wish not to discuss the ins and outs of Thunderball vs Octopussy, no, my post today is something I like to call;

How to be one swarve mother fucker like James Fucking Bond

From the tip of his perfectly trimmed barnet to the sole of his Italian loafers 007 is the epitome of gentlemanly style, all in place, nothing over the top, after all he is undercover after all.  Here's a few little ways to Bondify your wardrobe and lifestyle.

1. Tame your bush;
A mans hair is a very sacred thing. Some are blessed with little others cursed with lots, but everyone can pull off a vintage look of soft through the top with tapered sides.  If you got a round face or sharp feature its suits both.  And lets not forget, James is naval officer, at no point would he let his locks grow out to resemble that of a prominent female athlete of the 80s (!!)

2.  Fuck the 'peg'
Guys wear suits, I get it, loads of you probably have five or six nice straight off the rail suits that you wear for work or what not.  Im not a suit wearer, when I had to work it made me hate suits.  But I do know how to wear one, because when I buy one i spend a little more and go bespoke.  I dont have the issue of one jacket being a little bit long in the arm while another pair of trousers makes my crotch look like its trying to escape.  By going off the peg you get exactly the look you want whether its hiding the muffin top or broadening the shoulders.  Go lightweight wool in a color you can wear for any occasion (grey or blue).

3.  Its a Tie;
   007 RULES FOR SHIRT AND TIE COMBINATION;
A- Spread collar shirts, no breast pocket (no need, jackets have pockets, shirt pockets are for science teachers)
B-  Solid White and Solid Blue are acceptable patterns for shirts, no pinstripes no pink no point.
C-  Your tie should always be darker than your shirt.  Plain is preferable but texture or very subtle patterning is acceptable... No stripes unless your a second hand car dealer.
D- Make sure it fits, shirts should be loose but not not baggy you should be able to breath and be able to reach for your vodka martini without ripping the arm off.

4. Watch me...
   I dont wear a watch, but, there is no easier way to convey your style and class than by glancing at a tasty piece of wrist candy.
Since Goldeneye Bond has worn an Omega divers watch.  the latest number from Skyfall is available for just shy of five grand (pictured below).  If you dont have the government of an entire country writing your payslips why not spend a good chunk on a quality piece £100 gets you in the club £250 gets you on the committee and £350 will makes your mates look like they're wearing casio calculator watches.  Oh one piece of advice, steer clear of 'bling'... www.thewatchhut.co.uk has a fantastic selection.

(Omega-Seamaster, £4420, authorized dealers)

5. Ditch the Daiquiri
    All this gear and nothing scream no idea like walking into your local Weatherspoons and ordering a slippery nipple.
Of course not all of us have the stomach to take hold of a vodka martini, let alone a bucket full on a friday night.  Pick the right drink for the right occasion.  Beer is fine, but I doubt bond would ever be caught quaffing a flat pint of Fosters,  Heineken is the 'official' Bond brew, and to be fair anything in a green bottle looks cool, so if your out for a few with your mates tie onto the Heineken or the becks, out with the work collegue or a date need something a little lighter maybe hit the moose heads or the rolling rock, and hey, even 007 was partial to a minty Mojito.

6. M is for Manners

 Manners are an important part of James Bonds everyday interactions, especially with the females.  It is simplicity itself to live by his code of conduct.

• First Impression... shake hands, dont vice them but dont wet fish them
• Dont pay heed to your mobile... a quick glance is fine, but excuse yourself for anything longer.
• Open the door, pull out the chair.
• Please and thankyou (even if your tied to a table with a manic henchman about to saw through you)

7. Smells like teen spirit
  Doubt you'd catch Daniel Craig spritzing a splash of Joop down his jolliness and paying a bogtroll £2 for the pleasure, Sean Connery is equally as unlikey to be sporting a dash of Justin Biebers- someday or Ushers for men offering.  Classic scent for a classic gent!!

(Acqua di Parma Colonia Intensa, £47 from uk.spacenk.com)

There you go minions!!!

Go be Bond, but, please note I take no responsibilty if you are shot maimed or injured as a direct result of this list.  However I do enjoy gifts of cash, bourbon and bubble if happen to come across Pussy Galore (see what i did there, I feel like im better than that joke, but the giggling teen inside me is shouting leave it in, its a dealbreaker, it stays).

Heres some nice stuff to look at by me......

(Abandoned)

(yourebent)

Here is some nice stuff to look at that's not by me!!

And this is some seriously cool musics that you may/may not be aware of... including the new Bond theme!!

Well you must be a boy with bones like that

bon nuit mounge tout.
No apologies for not blogging for some time, I cant even pretend Ive been busy... unless you count watching csi episodes back to back and reading Brians Coxs new book over and over to figure it out as busy.
For many months now Ive been contemplating this post trying figure out the best way to word it to avoid the backlash of posts past (esp the national rant), but then I thought hey controversy is my middle name (obvs it isnt, its actually Bartone).
So the concept, 'Chivalry is dead'.....'and women killed it'
Chivalry is dead is a whinge I hear from friends all the time, I have enough female friends to know when to switch on the white noise.  To start with an example, one of my very good friends recently told me of her nightmare date, for the purposes of this she will remain nameless (Di, hah).  Anyways as far as the 'nightmare' of this date goes it consisted of a really nice meal, a few drinks and a lift home...not so nightmarish youd say, well as far as I can gather that part came from the fact that on entering the restaurant and the bar prince less than charming failed to hold open the door and after dinner the bill was split half and half.  Now when quizzed on the rest of the date it appears our gentleman hero was very pleasant, funny, smart and to quote 'fit as a butchers dog.'  Chances of a second date...zero.
Its a neither here nor there article cos this doesnt prove that chivalry is dead, its a mere pebble in the water of the death of chivalry.
Its not just the dating enviroment tho is it?  I like to think Ive been brought up good and proper, but theres only so many times you can hold open a door for a stranger in a public place and be cast a look that says 'what the fuck are you doin' before you begin to think why do I bother.
Its not that holding open doors makes me a gentleman scholar but for those of us that still do think manners count its a confusing time.
We are a generation of men raised by our mothers to be nice and be respectful to females, but we also grew up during the 90's and 00's where females  different to the ones that our parents, who taught us to respect them, knew and grew up with.  Girls became far more independant and forgive the term 'laddish'.  They acheived equality in almost every aspect of life and surpassed boys in terms of academia.  This is obviously not a bad thing, its fantastic, but it is this that has confused us (mankind).  Women want equality, in every aspect of life, and for modern men thats fine, but wait, we still have to carry your shopping and open the car door at topshop?  Thats fine, but wait, we can still do all of that, but we also have to frowned upon for owning a pair of ghd's, moisturising regularly and spending our earnings on nivea for men products.  The coin has two sides. 
Lets go back to our example, my friend Dianne and her date.  Di graduated last year from dental school, she's currently a practising dentist, 2-3 years away from a partnership or her own practice, 5 years from a 6 figure salary.  Her date was a 22 year old man, still lived at home and had just gone back to college to do a modern apprenticeship.  Its this kind of flip reverse thats confusing.  On paper here the lady is the hunter gatherer, shes the earner, shes the intellectual so why is it so out of question for her to pay half the bill?  In fact she is the one that asked the guy out!
I dont know if there is an argument here to win or lose.  Does it bother you that guys are letting go of traditional values, boys does it bother you that women are surpassing us?
For me it really doesnt matter, my family upbringing will mean that I'll always hold a door open, in fact my nanna even taught me that if you are walking down the street with a lady you always stand nearer to the road, because if a car splashes it will land on you not her, and if there were an accident you can better protect them, that is old school.
Opinions... okay here it is,
I think boys should pick up the bill, in fact, the first few.  If a relationship develops though I think a lady should be prepared to treat her fella once in a while.
Always hold the door open for everyone, it manners.
Offer to help with bags, but deffo dont insist.
Girls, boys are changing too, time to start being tolerant of the metrosexual male.  We are allowed to stress over our appearence as well.
Also embrace your independence with both arms, theres nothing more appealing to us than a woman that knows exactly what she wants in life and is driven in her course to get it, however you gotta give us a chance, let us open doors and walk on the outside of the pavement, we're not trying to steal you independence, its inbuilt in us to look after you.
Those of you with children, teach them the manners and the skills they need, chivalry can still be resurrected, but the days of men being men and women being women are long gone.
Although I still havent met one that can change a tire.

Heres some lovelys

and here what you need to be listening to right now, if your not already

Thats all for now folks.  But dont fret for those of you that do enjoy the occasional sneak peak here is what you can all look forward to in february.

- ADHD and me, why it effects my friends more than me
- Spring summer wardrobe (yes its shopping time)
- Carling cup, gary speed memorial, florence and the machine and lmfao
- the defication explanation
- wine o'clock

and dont forget...