No apologies for not blogging for some time, I cant even pretend Ive been busy... unless you count watching csi episodes back to back and reading Brians Coxs new book over and over to figure it out as busy.
For many months now Ive been contemplating this post trying figure out the best way to word it to avoid the backlash of posts past (esp the national rant), but then I thought hey controversy is my middle name (obvs it isnt, its actually Bartone).
So the concept, 'Chivalry is dead'.....'and women killed it'
Chivalry is dead is a whinge I hear from friends all the time, I have enough female friends to know when to switch on the white noise. To start with an example, one of my very good friends recently told me of her nightmare date, for the purposes of this she will remain nameless (Di, hah). Anyways as far as the 'nightmare' of this date goes it consisted of a really nice meal, a few drinks and a lift home...not so nightmarish youd say, well as far as I can gather that part came from the fact that on entering the restaurant and the bar prince less than charming failed to hold open the door and after dinner the bill was split half and half. Now when quizzed on the rest of the date it appears our gentleman hero was very pleasant, funny, smart and to quote 'fit as a butchers dog.' Chances of a second date...zero.
Its a neither here nor there article cos this doesnt prove that chivalry is dead, its a mere pebble in the water of the death of chivalry.
Its not just the dating enviroment tho is it? I like to think Ive been brought up good and proper, but theres only so many times you can hold open a door for a stranger in a public place and be cast a look that says 'what the fuck are you doin' before you begin to think why do I bother.
Its not that holding open doors makes me a gentleman scholar but for those of us that still do think manners count its a confusing time.
We are a generation of men raised by our mothers to be nice and be respectful to females, but we also grew up during the 90's and 00's where females different to the ones that our parents, who taught us to respect them, knew and grew up with. Girls became far more independant and forgive the term 'laddish'. They acheived equality in almost every aspect of life and surpassed boys in terms of academia. This is obviously not a bad thing, its fantastic, but it is this that has confused us (mankind). Women want equality, in every aspect of life, and for modern men thats fine, but wait, we still have to carry your shopping and open the car door at topshop? Thats fine, but wait, we can still do all of that, but we also have to frowned upon for owning a pair of ghd's, moisturising regularly and spending our earnings on nivea for men products. The coin has two sides.
Lets go back to our example, my friend Dianne and her date. Di graduated last year from dental school, she's currently a practising dentist, 2-3 years away from a partnership or her own practice, 5 years from a 6 figure salary. Her date was a 22 year old man, still lived at home and had just gone back to college to do a modern apprenticeship. Its this kind of flip reverse thats confusing. On paper here the lady is the hunter gatherer, shes the earner, shes the intellectual so why is it so out of question for her to pay half the bill? In fact she is the one that asked the guy out!
I dont know if there is an argument here to win or lose. Does it bother you that guys are letting go of traditional values, boys does it bother you that women are surpassing us?
For me it really doesnt matter, my family upbringing will mean that I'll always hold a door open, in fact my nanna even taught me that if you are walking down the street with a lady you always stand nearer to the road, because if a car splashes it will land on you not her, and if there were an accident you can better protect them, that is old school.
Opinions... okay here it is,
I think boys should pick up the bill, in fact, the first few. If a relationship develops though I think a lady should be prepared to treat her fella once in a while.
Always hold the door open for everyone, it manners.
Offer to help with bags, but deffo dont insist.
Girls, boys are changing too, time to start being tolerant of the metrosexual male. We are allowed to stress over our appearence as well.
Also embrace your independence with both arms, theres nothing more appealing to us than a woman that knows exactly what she wants in life and is driven in her course to get it, however you gotta give us a chance, let us open doors and walk on the outside of the pavement, we're not trying to steal you independence, its inbuilt in us to look after you.
Those of you with children, teach them the manners and the skills they need, chivalry can still be resurrected, but the days of men being men and women being women are long gone.
Although I still havent met one that can change a tire.
Heres some lovelys
Thats all for now folks. But dont fret for those of you that do enjoy the occasional sneak peak here is what you can all look forward to in february.
- ADHD and me, why it effects my friends more than me
- Spring summer wardrobe (yes its shopping time)
- Carling cup, gary speed memorial, florence and the machine and lmfao
- the defication explanation
- wine o'clock
and dont forget...
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