February already innit.
my buffday has come and gone, so too valentines... nothing of note to report though im afraid. Well I say nothing, this past few months I have been working easily harder than I have ever worked before, but it seems like every penny I earn costs me two in outgoing to the taxman or the bank or suppliers. Maybe self employment isnt for me, i miss having disposable income. I think back to when i was employed and single and all the crazy worthless shit I bought just because I had spare money flying around.... shouldve wouldve couldve.
Anyways as Flexoff draws near and with my dear Super Eagles now firmly in hold of the #AFCON my thoughts turn to the beautiful game once again.
In fact as discussed with my good friend several times this month here for your delectation is my all time top starting eleven footballers with the best names ever....
GK:
10 years as stand in Portugal goalie, two stints at Braga and one at Benfica. Still at the top of his game in the Portuguese league. This is Quim
Defenders;
40 caps for South Korea- Oh Bum Suck
4 caps for the now defunct Congo Republic and a brief stint at hannover... Bongo Christ
30 german caps including a Europeon Championship winners medal in 1996- Stefan Kuntz
5 French caps, currently at Marseilles if you want a shirt, Rod Fanni
Midfielders:
Germany once again coming up trumps for comedy, this is Wolfgang "the" Wolf,
Cameroon international and currently at Sochaux this player chooses Yaya on his shirt, maybe because the shirts are bright yellow and his surname is Banana
uncapped Australian international who has enjoyed time in the UK with Swindon... Danny Invincible
Enough said
Forwards:
Most expensive premier league shirt of all time was Hull Citys Vennegoor of Hesselink 13 shirt in 2009
Darren Bent... lol
I know it was just a quickie, but sometimes that's all you need isn't it... plus Ghostbusters is on!!!! Did you know John Candy, Eddie Murphy, John Belushi and Paul Reubens were all meant to be in the movie but either turned down the script or died!!!
I may well furnish you with more film knowledge soon... but, in the mean time you can feast your peepers on these...
Time for resolutions, a week of salads and yet more impending realization that we're all getting older and accomplishing nothing with our lives...
But hey ho, no need to be glum freddos are still affordable, pizza has never been more accessible and forty year old virgins have made easier than ever before to download music, movies and television for zero pounds, every cloud and that.
How was your Christmas Mine was good. My parents, bless them bought me a 3d tv, I didn't have the heart to tell them I have no use for such a device as I cant afford the subscription or the dongle or the external hard drive to make it work. its currently on ebay. I did get some well comfortable pjs and a bottle of hot sauce, spectacular return to form from my family in the shit gifts stake.
Anyways... onto this months blogroastingblogposting,
as I was casually returning to my television today, after my usual early viewing of this morning, I happened across something that caught my attention. Im not a regular viewer of this program but the topic of discussion made my ears prick up with attention...
'its embarrassing, he just an ageing hipster' and 'hes not cool, he's just dining out on past glory.' what on earth could ITVs Loose Women be chirping about??? Oh David Bowie?? I reeled in disbelief. As a Bowie fan, Im obviously going to disagree with such moronic liable, but it got me to thinking. With Bowie currently at number 1 and set to headline Glastonbury this year, what possible reason could this excuse for television have for Bowie bashing??? Perhaps the world as I know is upside down, everything I hold as cool is actually uncool, perhaps I've hit that age where all the stuff I like has turned into all the stuff I used to snort a hearty derision at.
No!! I refuse with all the stubbornness that I have come to be known for!!!
These people are NOT cool!!
The Loose Women:
A panel consisting of failed actresses, singers, presenters and slaggy media whores spouting daily mail politics with all the wit and charm of a pencil sharpener that is past its prime. A viewership consisting of menopausal heaps and students eating soup doesn't make your opinions worth listening too. Also being famous for marrying Chris Evans makes less than less than a celebrity.
Media Celebs; Sorry Alex Reid but you personify my annoyance with this genre of person. Anyone famous for marrying someone else is not cool
Kate Moss; 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels', way to be a role model dick. Not eating and wearing stuff does not make you cool.
Anyone in Towie; Why are you on my television ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!! Spend ten minutes less a week preening your fucking eyebrows and read a fucking book. This goes ten times for Joey Essex.
RiRi and Chris Brown; It goes without saying, she is hotter than the actual sun. But what better way to highlight the frailty of the female as a gender than to be one of the most in demand female music acts in the world than to fall back into the arms of man convicted of beating the shit out of you. A million times no.
These people however ARE cool:
David Bowie: Ziggy Stardust, The pale White Duke, Jareth the Goblin King. Currently top of the UK singles chart, released a song just to celebrate his 66th birthday, without any hype or party time, doesn't parade about with supermodels 40 years his junior. The star man has been cool since the 60s and no amount of middle ages attention whores can convince me otherwise.
Professor Brian Cox OBE; 44 years old, currently Professor of Physical Sciences at Manchester University. Co presenter of stargazing live, on every night this week on BBC2. Obtained all his qualifications aged 31, after spending 17 years touring the world playing keyboards for former chart worriers D-ream. He may not dress too hot but the man oozes cool, his enthusiasm and joy for his work makes him cool, and, you cant go wrong with a black t shirt right?
Noel Fielding; The Mighty Boosh, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Luxury Comedy. Widely described as a cross between a male Joan Jett drag act and a futuristic prostitute Fielding has always said of his fashion 'i dont care what other people like, if i think its funky i'll put it on and wear it as a jumper' when his most recent serie sLuxury Comedy was panned by critics he retorted ' couldn't give a fuck mate, i laughed, and at the end of the day im the one getting paid'
Jameela Jamil; Jam-Jam,not just T4 hangover fodder. You wont see her pissed up falling out of Mahiki. A TV presenter with brains as well as a bookish clumsiness that only years of practice can perfect. This week she becomes the first ever female solo host the radio one chart show, and while some may describe what she wears as eclectic she has her very own line for very.co.uk along with messors Cotton and Willobooby.
David Beckham; he's won every cup you can think of, represented and captained his country with the kind of quiet calm that modern footballers hold little value for. Championed his country at all times, model father, style icon and general all around lovely lump... so much so we've all but forgotten that Rebecca Loos thing. I heart you Becks.
So this is Christmas, I hope you have fun, another year over, a new one just begun.
I fucking love Christmas, I'm not ashamed to say I am literally like a little child, the decorations, the chocolates, the actual food and of course the presents!!!!
Now I ve never been someone that is very good at receiving presents, I think its because I never really got anything that anyone has put any actual thought into. In my family its ask for something or get nothing, and, Ive always felt so guilty about asking for what I actually want, I always just end up saying 'oh i dont need anything,' and thus i end up with M and S boxers and Lynx gift sets. Bad times.
But, even if I do say so myself I am a good gift giver, its not difficult, even people who are the most difficult to buy for can be made easy if you just listen to them for ten minutes something will give away something good to get them. My ability to buy gifts has led to me becoming a font of knowledge for friends and family alike in terms of me being a walking suggestion box for gift ideas. With this in mind I thought Id bring to you a little guide to whats available out there, for boys for girls for parents, partners and siblings here a few select items that will hit the Christmas magic strings on the morning of December 25th for your loved ones.
FOR HIM
Now, boys are very different to girls, obviously. Our expectations for gifts are very low, we've grown into men believing that a pair of novelty socks a packet of sweets and an Andy Mcnab book are the best we can hope for, they are not, ladies pay heed to the following.
1: Smelly Stuff
Us metro sexuals really do like smellies, we do not like 3.99 sales shower gel and deodorant sets.
Prada Infusion d homme, is the best. Its a manly blend of sandlewood and citrus. If its for your fella then you too will enjoy sniffing his manly gubbins for the cold months to come
(Infusion d homme £35 per 50ml, Boots)
2: Entertainment
Not just for your significant other, for your dad, your brother or uncle knobhead, a DVD boxset is a great gift and is worth hundreds of hours and entertainment (and peace and quiet for you)
Choose a manly one though, no Sex and the City.
(Sopranos boxset, £40 Tesco)
3: Ethically Correct
You might want to tread with care with this type of present, for myself I would love something like this, but there are certain type of people who wouldn't appreciate the gift of something for someone or something else, theyd be an arse to have a grump over the turkey about it though so go ahead, my recommendation:
(Adopt a penguin, £19.99, IWOOT.com)
4; Gadgets
Having testosterone in our bodies automatically means two things, firstly we enjoy cooking food over fire, secondly we loves a gadget. From the earliest man carving tools from limestone to the swiss army who specialise in being very neutral while making exception quality knives with attached bottle openers boys love stuff. Here's some stuff;
(Wireless Charge Station, £42 Currys)
This little beaut is a wireless charge station. Iphones, blackberrys, generic mp3 players, games controllers it does them all. Just plug this little plate in and op it on your bedside table, you then just place your gadget on top and it charges. BOOM MAN MAGIC!
5; Funstuff
Musical Socks, novelty drinking games, handkercheifs with saucy captions on them, these all have something in common, they are anti-LOL. Men are just boys boys on the inside we like getting muddy, jumping in puddles and teasing girls. Check these adult size bounce suits, a bit expensive but if another couple comes over for dinner itl keep the fellas busy!!
(BumpSuits £69 www.prezzybox.com)
6; Uber-nerd?
For the man in your life that is a secret 4 year old on the inside this amazing gadget is a magic wand, that you can program, to be a remote, for anything!!!!! £44.99 from firebox!!
FOR HER:
Alright gents, I know your pain. Need to buy a present for girl right? Guess what... they dont like screwdriver sets and any sexy undies you buy for her is going to be an absolute minefield of size and sexyness issues (on the plus side the girls that work in la Senza are always FAF). But follow these simple rules and you shall not disappoint the lady you love this festive period.
1: Smelly Stuff
Just like the first heading for the boys right...wrong. Although fragrance is a good gift it is again a minefield, she might appreciate you going off piste from whats normally on the dressing table, but, she is unlikely to appreciate your choice of Channelle Houghtons misty scent or Jordans latest stench. If you insist on odors buy designer. Whats much safer and simpler? Try something a bit different to scent, Chanel nail varnish available from Boots and it comes in a pack of three so you are three times more likely to get a color she likes! You might resent paying £15 for a tiny pot of what is essentially paint, but she'll love them.
(Chanel nail varnish £45, 3 pack, Boots)
2; Entertainment
Just like the boys again right?? Nearly right, stick to the more effeminent side of the entertainment, Id stay away from Sex and the City again though, not because she doesnt like it, but, she already has it.
(Pride and Predjudice, £4.99, Play.com)
3; All that glitters IS gold
This maybe a massive generalisation, chicks love sparkles. In particular diamonds. It doesnt have to be big and bolshy, but if it twinkles itl be well received. HSamuel have some excellent options at prices that wont put you in the poor house.
Diamond and silver, 'the kiss', HSamuel £49.99
4; Outright soppyness
Sometimes outright soppyness is just the ticket... For the hopeless romantic there are two different varients of soppyness. There is romance that is affordable and there is the other type, the type that you are going to need to plan in advance and save up for...
(Name a star deluxe, £29.99, prezzybox.com)
Prezzybox deluxe name a star kit comes with all the gear to name a star something unbelivably cute/romantic and it comes with a nice ebony frame so its not just a box of papers.
(weekend break in Paris, around £299+)
When it comes to downright going for it you have two options, a break in Paris, the romance capital of Europe. Or a break in New York, the romance capital of the World. Since the both of these require some prior planning (at least they do if your budget doesnt stretch to private jets) Id say Paris is the better option. Of course if your settled, married and fairly secure in the knowledge that you will be together when the time for hollybobs comes along then by all means plump for NYC, I recommend NYE.
5; Secretly beneficial to you
Here are two facts for you to keep in mind;
A- One 50g portion of chocolate is enough to raise a persons mood by 100%
B- A woman is 60% more likely to be 'in the mood' if she has an above average body temperature.
(Hotel Chocolat, £4.99)
(John Lewis £8.99)
There you go world, that's all I can be bothered to write... The rules are clear people, put a little thought into your gifts and make this Christmas that little bit more special for someone you love this year.
I go now to figure out to color in my Christmas jumper with glitter for my Christmas party on saturday... all ideas welcome.
Heres some treats for eyes.
And here is some festive treats for your ears.
Il rock you all in the new year.
So from me TO YOU i really do hope youve had a magical year and Christmas brings you everything you could possibly want and more.
Lots of Love and Festive frolics from the land of Taff
Alright,
No apologies again for the time between posts.
Update on me;
all relatively fine, being self employed is getting me down a bit, it seems like i never have the funds to do stuff I really want to like seeing friends and attending shindigs.
Hurt my back in a big way playing football, got another four weeks worth of steroid injections right into the hurt until i see the specialist again, serious mood deflation desperate to get back in the gym and to hit the tarmac again, winter is the best time for road running if you ask me and im missing some lovely drizzly nights.
Christmas is coming... I fucking love christmas!!!! Bad news for my waistline if im still on hiatus from the gym as I do enjoy a chocolate/cheese/booze binge at this time of year.
Im tying today post in with an occurrence that has reached most of us recently. Skyfall has landed. As I have previously stated on twitter, no bond movie will ever be as good as Goldeneye, but Skyfall lands a close second in my opinion, but, you do have to be a Bond fan to see why. Anyways I wish not to discuss the ins and outs of Thunderball vs Octopussy, no, my post today is something I like to call;
How to be one swarve mother fucker like James Fucking Bond
From the tip of his perfectly trimmed barnet to the sole of his Italian loafers 007 is the epitome of gentlemanly style, all in place, nothing over the top, after all he is undercover after all. Here's a few little ways to Bondify your wardrobe and lifestyle.
1. Tame your bush;
A mans hair is a very sacred thing. Some are blessed with little others cursed with lots, but everyone can pull off a vintage look of soft through the top with tapered sides. If you got a round face or sharp feature its suits both. And lets not forget, James is naval officer, at no point would he let his locks grow out to resemble that of a prominent female athlete of the 80s (!!)
2. Fuck the 'peg'
Guys wear suits, I get it, loads of you probably have five or six nice straight off the rail suits that you wear for work or what not. Im not a suit wearer, when I had to work it made me hate suits. But I do know how to wear one, because when I buy one i spend a little more and go bespoke. I dont have the issue of one jacket being a little bit long in the arm while another pair of trousers makes my crotch look like its trying to escape. By going off the peg you get exactly the look you want whether its hiding the muffin top or broadening the shoulders. Go lightweight wool in a color you can wear for any occasion (grey or blue).
3. Its a Tie;
007 RULES FOR SHIRT AND TIE COMBINATION;
A- Spread collar shirts, no breast pocket (no need, jackets have pockets, shirt pockets are for science teachers)
B- Solid White and Solid Blue are acceptable patterns for shirts, no pinstripes no pink no point.
C- Your tie should always be darker than your shirt. Plain is preferable but texture or very subtle patterning is acceptable... No stripes unless your a second hand car dealer.
D- Make sure it fits, shirts should be loose but not not baggy you should be able to breath and be able to reach for your vodka martini without ripping the arm off.
4. Watch me...
I dont wear a watch, but, there is no easier way to convey your style and class than by glancing at a tasty piece of wrist candy.
Since Goldeneye Bond has worn an Omega divers watch. the latest number from Skyfall is available for just shy of five grand (pictured below). If you dont have the government of an entire country writing your payslips why not spend a good chunk on a quality piece £100 gets you in the club £250 gets you on the committee and £350 will makes your mates look like they're wearing casio calculator watches. Oh one piece of advice, steer clear of 'bling'... www.thewatchhut.co.uk has a fantastic selection.
(Omega-Seamaster, £4420, authorized dealers)
5. Ditch the Daiquiri
All this gear and nothing scream no idea like walking into your local Weatherspoons and ordering a slippery nipple.
Of course not all of us have the stomach to take hold of a vodka martini, let alone a bucket full on a friday night. Pick the right drink for the right occasion. Beer is fine, but I doubt bond would ever be caught quaffing a flat pint of Fosters, Heineken is the 'official' Bond brew, and to be fair anything in a green bottle looks cool, so if your out for a few with your mates tie onto the Heineken or the becks, out with the work collegue or a date need something a little lighter maybe hit the moose heads or the rolling rock, and hey, even 007 was partial to a minty Mojito.
6. M is for Manners
Manners are an important part of James Bonds everyday interactions, especially with the females. It is simplicity itself to live by his code of conduct.
First Impression... shake hands, dont vice them but dont wet fish them
Dont pay heed to your mobile... a quick glance is fine, but excuse yourself for anything longer.
Open the door, pull out the chair.
Please and thankyou (even if your tied to a table with a manic henchman about to saw through you)
7. Smells like teen spirit
Doubt you'd catch Daniel Craig spritzing a splash of Joop down his jolliness and paying a bogtroll £2 for the pleasure, Sean Connery is equally as unlikey to be sporting a dash of Justin Biebers- someday or Ushers for men offering. Classic scent for a classic gent!!
(Acqua di Parma Colonia Intensa, £47 from uk.spacenk.com)
There you go minions!!!
Go be Bond, but, please note I take no responsibilty if you are shot maimed or injured as a direct result of this list. However I do enjoy gifts of cash, bourbon and bubble if happen to come across Pussy Galore (see what i did there, I feel like im better than that joke, but the giggling teen inside me is shouting leave it in, its a dealbreaker, it stays).
Heres some nice stuff to look at by me......
(Abandoned)
(yourebent)
Here is some nice stuff to look at that's not by me!!
And this is some seriously cool musics that you may/may not be aware of... including the new Bond theme!!
